Self Control

There are some real gems out there as far as talks on gospel subjects. Recently, I have listened to some, honestly, multiple times a day. I had put together a post with three talks and my thoughts on them because I'm so excited about them and want everybody to read them but it soon became really really long. It is taking all my self control to post one talk and my thoughts at a time. So here is the first. I would suggest that you read or listen to it but if perchance you are too lazy right now, keep reading and you'll find some quotes that I pulled from it and added my own emphasis with italics.

Repentance and Forgiveness in Marriage
  -Richard G. Miller

A clip of this BYU devotional was shown in one of my classes and it drew me in. I had to look it up right then and listen to the rest.  It provided me a very blunt lesson on pride and forgiveness which was right up my alley of needs. It also gave me an interest to looking further into understanding the healing power of the atonement. From this stemmed a myriad of other talks I have found which will be posted soon.

"
How do these couples go from ecstatic levels of love and happiness to frequent conflict, bitterness, and, in many cases, eventual divorce? ... a lack of repentance and a lack of forgiveness.

In order to be effective, an apology must be sincere and heartfelt. Besides a sincere apology, repentance includes striving to forsake our shortcomings and weaknesses. 

In my experience, there are two things that often stand in the way of saying “I’m sorry” and repenting. The first thing is that we sometimes don’t know that we have done something hurtful or offensive to our spouse. The second major obstacle to repenting of our sins and mistakes in marriage is pride.

The essence of repentance is trying to change ourselves in ways that will make us better people. On the other hand, the foundation of pride is the desire to cover up our own weaknesses and focus on changing our partner’s behavior and weaknesses.  

In order for a marriage to be successful, there needs to be more than repentance; there also needs to be forgiveness.

What do we do when we simply can’t forgive, forget, and move on? In these cases we need to rely on the healing power of the Atonement.

Thus the healing power of the Atonement extends beyond those who repent; it also heals those who sorrow, grieve, and are in pain.

May we be willing to take responsibility for our own sins and weaknesses that create stress and hurt in our marriages. May we use the healing power of the Atonement to overcome our sins, imperfections, and weaknesses. May we use the power of the Atonement to heal our hurts and sorrows so that we can fully forgive.
 "

If I ever want to be the wife I want my husband to have, them I must take the initiative and apply these concepts to my life now.  There are so many ways to improve with these skills for the relationships outside of marriage such as with roommates, siblings, parents, or friends. Like I said, this talk sent me finding many other talks that I cannot stop listening to. One of those I will post about soon and I'm really excited about it.


President Hinckley said:
"We will not become perfect in a day or a month or a year. We will not accomplish it in a lifetime, but we can keep trying, starting with our more obvious weaknesses and gradually converting them to strengths as we go forward with our lives." (The Quest for Excellence, Ensign, Sep 1999)

So with this talk and the next one I will post, I have found an obvious weakness that I will work toward becoming a strength. And I've determined to take it one day at a time. Today, will be remembering that everybody is a child of God. Not an adult, but a child. Toward children we are typically more helpful and understanding. Imagine how we would look at and treat people differently if we pictured them as children. I cannot wait to find out today!

Roommate run!